From the very instigation of his grand design to run through the collected works of the Inimitable Author, Mr Headstone had become aware of an alteration in the circumstances of his life, which, as his project progressed, seemed to encroach increasingly on his daily existence. Every man and every woman is subject to their fair share of misfortune, and none but the vain and the mighty can expect to escape the minor trials of life. Mr Headstone, however, was now of the opinion that he had recently been allotted a much larger serving of bad luck than he could possibly be expected to consume, and that he was - with regard to misfortune - developing a severe case of dyspepsia. Furthermore, he had begun to form a suspicion in his own mind that some invisible hand was at work in arranging his encounters with recalcitrant servants, scheming villains, shrewish landladies, tyrannical magistrates & co., and that even the behaviour of inanimate objects was being orchestrated to conspire against him.
On hearing of the pedagogue's complaint, certain members of the assembled company did their best to alleviate Mr Headstone of his delusions. Mr Dick Swiveller took it as a great joke, and laughed at the notion. Mr Simon Tappertit pronounced it as the onset of lunacy, and advised the gentleman to make immediate arrangements for the transference of his belongings and his good self to the Bethlem Royal Hospital. Mr Guppy perceived the situation as an opportunity for taking out an action, and pressed for more details. Only, Mr Mould, whose intellect was equal to the absurdity of the premise, advised Mr Headstone to do the one thing that would put his mind at rest - which was to seek out Mr Dickens and confront him with the charge of willful manipulation of character. This course of action was applauded by all, and Mr Headstone announced his intention to call upon the literary gentleman the very next day.
Mr Charles Dickens
