Though some may wonder at the length of time that has passed since Mr Headstone first made the declaration (printed below) which excited the interest of his friends, acquaintances and the wider society of which he is a part, no one can be more surprised than that gentleman himself. When Mr Headstone remarked upon the fact to the company gathered at the Saracen's Head, Snow Hill to mark the end of the year, one member of those assembled for the festivities - a Mr Augustus Snodgrass, who is famed for his poetic turn of phrase - observed that time's winged chariot had travelled with all dispatch through the seasons of the year, and had now arrived at January; which month, being a staging post in that great journey of life, allows all travellers some small respite to consider how far they have come and and how much further they have to go.
Mr Snodgrass was applauded by all for the ingenuity of his conceit and - encouraged by their loud cheers and the displacement of several hats into the air (where some, unfortunately, became caught in the ironwork suspended from the beams and could not be retrieved without the aid of a ladder and the pot boy) - that gentlemen made a pedestal of a wooden stool from which to address his appreciative audience. Had Mr Snodgrass been able to maintain his balance for longer than the time it took him to raise one declamatory hand into the air and invoke the aid of Apollo, it is very likely that he would have developed his theme to further approbation and applause. However, as he had chosen a rude piece of carpentry that was distinguished by the singular feature of possessing three legs of three differing lengths (a not altogether desirable mode of design in such an article of furniture), and compounded his error by placing it on a sloping flagstone onto which a waiter had but recently spilt half a pint of greasy soup, it was of no surprise to anyone but Mr Snodgrass himself that he should find himself performing a brief experiment that provided incontrovertible proof of the Newtonian law of gravity. It was (as the whole company remarked) a fortunate circumstance that the pot boy - who had been dispatched from the kitchen with an old rag to mop up the soup - was favourably positioned to break Mr Snodgrass's fall and to prevent the poet from sustaining any physical injury.
Order being restored, Mr Headstone reacquainted those present with his resolution to read through the works of Mr Dickens, and further stated that he intended to embark upon the endeavour on the morrow, it being the first day of the year. There were cheers and hurrahs from all but one of the company, a young law clerk from Kenge and Carboy who went by the name of Guppy and seemed not in the least discombobulated by the fact. Mr Guppy advised Mr Headstone to be careful of making rash promises in front of so many witnesses and furthermore advised him not to put into writing any resolution that he might in time come to regret.
Mr Charles Dickens
