In Which An Explanation Is Given For Mr Headstone's Pecuniary Difficulties

The current precarious state of Mr Headstone's pecuniary affairs had its origin in a circumstance which occurred some few weeks earlier, but has not until this moment been recorded in this chronicle. A very great number of articles in the newspapers had brought to the pedagogue's attention the fact that the seventh day of February marked the birth date of Mr Charles Dickens, and Mr Headstone thought it would only be fitting if he celebrated the occasion with a bachelor's party at his lodgings. Consequently, invitations were despatched to the unmarried gentlemen of Mr Headstone's acquaintance, all of whom replied in the affirmative to the request for their company on the evening of the day in question at seven thirty sharp. Having thus assured himself of the presence of a quantity of bachelors (an absolute prerequisite for a gathering of such a nature as he had in mind), Mr Headstone set himself the task of drawing up a bill of fare. This he did according to the dimensions of his appetite, which was great, rather than to the dimensions of his purse, which was small; and so when the oysters, the pickles, the ham, the beef, and the cheese had all been ordered and paid for, there remained scarcely enough money in the school master's pocket for the spirits and the beer, and the wine and the port, and the cigars. As a gesture towards moderation Mr Headstone resisted the temptation to purchase the set of cutlery which he had been offered by a young juvenile with a roaring laugh, who did a trade in articles of silverware around the local taverns on the strict commercial terms of money down and no questions asked. It was fortunate that, being a man of foresight, Mr Headstone had had the wisdom to include on the reverse of the invitation an instruction for each guest to bring his own knife and fork.